Helpful Hints - Q&A
ENTRANCE INTO THE CHURCH
While it has been customary for the father of the bride to walk her down the aisle, that no longer fits with a contemporary view of marriage, nor the Catholic understanding that both parties (bride and groom) are doing this freely and that the bride is not being given in any sense. Please consider other ways of doing the entrance procession. Some people like to involve both mother and father, and also to involve the groom and his family.
You are encouraged to select the readings of the Scripture for your service. This allows you to have a personal involvement in the ritual. The readings are provided for you to make the selection process easier. Choose one Old Testament reading and one New Testament reading. The psalm between the two readings is sung. The priest will usually choose the Gospel unless you have a definite idea for a Gospel reading. You do not have to have two readings; it is possible to have only one—either from the Old or New Testaments. The priest will always read a Gospel passage. Please choose readers and ask them to attend the rehearsal so that they may practice in the church using the microphone system. More > > >
START ON TIME
While many jokes are made about the bride arriving late, it is important to try to start as close to the time as possible. There are often several weddings or other services on the same day. If a wedding is overly delayed it can cause problems for a lot of other people. If the ceremony is overly delayed the priest/deacon may shorten the ceremony by eliminating songs, etc. so as to speed it up. Please do not put us in that position. Thanks.
PREPARATION OF THE ALTAR WITH THE BREAD AND WINE
Some couples like to invite a few people to bring the bread and wine to the altar. Just let the wedding coordinator know who is doing it. Generally, two or three persons are needed to bring up the gifts.
PLEASE DO NOT THROW ANYTHING OUTSIDE
We ask that no confetti, rice, bird seed, etc. be thrown either inside or outside of the church. This creates safety problems and custodial nightmares. Thanks.
We are happy to welcome your photographer. We ask that they use common sense and not move about too much, but they are free to take pictures as they see fit. They are welcome to speak to the priest/deacon before hand if they have any questions.
Not used in the Chapel of the Immaculate Conception.
Your florist should take a look at the church if he or she is not familiar with it. They need to be large and arranged to be viewed on all sides - not the one-dimensional arrangements which are placed against a wall. Perhaps all the weddings on a given day could share the cost of the flowers. You are asked to take the flowers with you when you leave the church, unless of course you are sharing the flowers with the next wedding. If your florist is bringing in anything extra, (trees, plants, etc.) please let him or her know that it will need to picked up right after the ceremony. Also, please make sure all decorations, pew bows, etc. are taken down immediately after the wedding. Because weekends in the church are so very busy, we are asking everyone to leave the church just as they found it so that the space can be ready for the next baptism, wedding or parish mass. Thank you so much for your cooperation.
The "Unity Candle" is not part of the Catholic ceremony.
The church does not have one. It is also a difficult ritual to do especially for the bride in her bridal gown. If you are having a Nuptial Mass it is a bit much to add the candle ceremony. Further, it carries mixed messages and is not the normal use of candle in the Catholic Liturgy where the light always points to Christ.
At a wedding within a Mass, It is desirable to offer the chalice with the consecrated wine to the people as well as to the bride and groom. If you have any friends or relatives who are Eucharistic ministers, let us know and they can assist at the time of communion.
Colleen Brown will help you plan your wedding. She will answer any last minute questions and be available for help.
This is a great day for you and we promise to do all we can to make it special.
Frequently Asked Questions
How many people does the UD Chapel seat?
- About 305 when all chairs are filled.
What steps do we need to take to get married in the Chapel?
- Contact Colleen Brown at 937-229-2019 to reserve the Chapel.
- Contact a priest or deacon for availability to assist you.
- Meet with the priest or deacon.
- Take the FOCCUS inventory.
- Go over the result of the FOCCUS to help your relationship and communications (2-3 meetings).
- Fill out the Archdiocesan paperwork: Informational questions and reflection questions on your understanding of marriage. Go over these with the priest or deacon.
- Using the COVINO book, prepare the Liturgy. Consult with the Campus Minister for Liturgical Music at 937-229-2052. Go over the plan with the priest. Then, have the booklet printed.
Who may get married in the Chapel and why do these limitations exist?
- Your wedding should take place in the PARISH of the Bride or Groom.
- Since UD is not a parish, every wedding that takes place here is an exception.
- Listed here are the criteria set up by the Archdiocese of Cincinnati (our ecclesiastical authority) for who may be married in the Immaculate Conception Chapel at the University of Dayton.
- The criteria apply to the CATHOLIC party:
- Presently a student at the University of Dayton (undergrad or graduate student).
- A Graduate of the University.
- A Member of the UD faculty.
- A Member of the UD Staff.
- Children of present members of faculty or staff.
Are there times when UD does not allow or schedule weddings?
- We do not schedule Weddings during Advent or Lent
(because the Church does not recommend these as times for Weddings).
- We do not schedule weddings on those days on which the Church's Ordo forbids a wedding to take place.
- We do not schedule Weddings when special events (such as Orientation or Parents Weekend) are scheduled on Campus or on holiday weekends.
Is the "unity candle" a part of the Catholic Wedding Liturgy?
- In the Catholic tradition, the primary Symbol is the Exchange of Vows because this expresses the total gift of self by each person to the other. This is sometimes elaborated by an exchange of rings. The rings are meant to expresses the never-ending promise/commitment just made in the Exchange of Vows.
- The wedding unity candle is not part of the Catholic Wedding Liturgy.
- If you want to use the unity candle, it might be best to incorporate it into the Table Prayer at the formal dinner which follows the Liturgy. This would be another way to incorporate more special persons into the wedding by having one of them read a prayer or poem as the bride and groom light the unity candle. This could be an opportunity for the bride or groom to compose the prayer or poem, just for this occasion.
Do we have to get a marriage license?
- Yes! A civil license is required for a Catholic Wedding.
- For marriage license information call 937-225-4656.
- You must obtain the Marriage License from the State of Ohio (60 days ahead of time).
- If both parties live out-of-state and are to be married in Montgomery County (UD Chapel) then they must obtain the Marriage License in downtown Dayton. Bring cash for payment.
- If both or one of them lives in Ohio --but in another county-- they have the option of obtaining the license in that OHIO COUNTY.
If one of us was married before (and civilly divorced) must we do anything else before getting married in a Catholic Church?
- The previous marriage must be examined from the sacramental point of view. The civil divorce removes the civil and legal connections between the couple but does not remove the sacramental bond, if it exists; if it is determined that the sacramental bond exists, no further Catholic marriage may be attempted; if it is determined that in the first civil marriage that there really was no sacramental bond, then you may proceed to be married in the Church.
- More information can be found on our annulments page.